Well, I survived. The surgery wasn't as painless as for the right eye. They stuck an IV in my hand and it hurt like crazy. And then it kept hurting so John asked if it was supposed to be hurting. Nope, apparently an IV shouldn't hurt. So if you ever have an IV that is hurting, complain. So the IV in my hand was removed and put elsewhere, where it didn't hurt. But my hand kept hurting, I think the nurse hit a really bad spot. The anesthetist gave me more sedative than last time resulting in me sleeping most of yesterday. He didn't do the freezing as well as the really nice anesthetist from before. Somehow he made my teeth freeze and missed a portion of muscle at the top of my eye. So during the lazering, there was some pain. It wasn't excrutiating but I think me saying "Ow" annoyed the doctor. She kept saying "You'll feel some pressure". It wasn't pressure, it was pain. I can tell the difference. Anyway, it all went okay. The freezing came out faster, which also meant the muscle pain started sooner. Thank God for advil and tylenol.

Left eye

Tomorrow, I go for my left eye surgery. I hope it goes as well as the right eye but heals more quickly. I'm not as nervous but I have to be at the hospital at 6 am. I'm not sure why you have to get there so early. For the right eye, I had to be there for 7 and my surgery wasn't until 10. Oh well, maybe I won't ever have to do it again. I'll post tomorrow or Wed, on how it went.

Astonishing

It all went okay. I got some happy sedative that made me unaware of the needle(s) in my eye. And everything else was fine. I have a patch on my eye for a couple more hours. More annoying than anything else. I guess God does care about me. :)

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I'm scheduled for eye surgery; I have to be at the hospital a 7 am. Yay, more needles in the eye. I'm not really looking forward to it. Perhaps if my previous experience hadn't been so horrible, I wouldn't be so stressed about it. I've been trying not to think about it but now it's imminent. What I should really do is take it to God and trust in him. That's not going to get me out of it though. The surgery needs to be done, there's no point putting it off. Miraculous healing would be fantastic. I don't really have much faith for that though. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to blog about how great God was in getting me through it.

Driver's License

About this time every year I get annoyed and rant about renewing my driver's license. Because I'm a type 1 diabetic, I have to get a yearly driver's medical, which typically would cost money unless you combine with some other medical need/concern and renew my license. I've always felt this was unnecessary and discriminatory. Aside from being really annoying and inconvenient, a 1-year license is not 1/5 the cost of a 5-year license. So, I do my thing as usual and THERE'S BEEN A CHANGE! I'm so very excited that my license is good for THREE years now! So, I guess I can't rant as much anymore.

It is finished...

Well, probably not. Just sent off the last of the paperwork for the Canopy to the CRA. As long as they don't request anything else it'll be finished. Here's hoping. Of course, I've got all the financial documents in my house that I have to hold on to for years. I might be feeling a little bitter but only because nobody else cares which makes sense as the Canopy closed 9 months ago. And really it's okay, I don't mind doing it. Maybe what I really want is a little appreciation.

Bah! Enough of that crap. It's kinda funny that the CRA took so long reviewing the letter asking for the charitable status to be revoked that I don't have to prove we disposed of our assets appropriately. If you are really interested in the details of that you can look it up on the CRA website. I hope they don't come asking for more info that would mean I'd have to sift through the pile of papers on the table that has been dubbed the Canopy table.

On the other hand a side benefit of doing the treasurer stuff is I can claim professional development hours with APEGGA for the volunteering my time.

The biggest thing that I hope the CRA doesn't want is taxes from the Canopy...if they do I'll come looking for donations.

Some things

Psalm 13

1. How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

2. How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

3. Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

4. my enemies will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

5. But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

6. I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been good to me.

This psalms is kind of where I'm at. Some things have happened this year that don't make sense to me that deal with dreams I've had since I was a kid. The first 4 verses is how I feel towards God about it and yet I am very much in the space of verses 5 and 6. It makes me feel a little confused, almost like there is two of me. (Don't worry, I don't have multiple personalities)

I had a good time praying at HoPE on Friday. I felt really connected with God and now feel spiritually buoyant. How do I get that to carry through the week, while dealing with the feelings that God is hiding from me? Hhmmm...see confused. Oh well, I'll rejoice in the good stuff and do something with the not good stuff. (perhaps, ignore it)