1. How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2. How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3. Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4. my enemies will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5. But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6. I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been good to me.
This psalms is kind of where I'm at. Some things have happened this year that don't make sense to me that deal with dreams I've had since I was a kid. The first 4 verses is how I feel towards God about it and yet I am very much in the space of verses 5 and 6. It makes me feel a little confused, almost like there is two of me. (Don't worry, I don't have multiple personalities)
I had a good time praying at HoPE on Friday. I felt really connected with God and now feel spiritually buoyant. How do I get that to carry through the week, while dealing with the feelings that God is hiding from me? Hhmmm...see confused. Oh well, I'll rejoice in the good stuff and do something with the not good stuff. (perhaps, ignore it)